I have been spending a lot of time in the contemplation of truth and lies. That space of conflict between someone who is brave enough to be honest and one who fears the consequences of their own honesty. The tension it creates in my chest is uncanny. I am a […]
Parenting , Personal Evolution
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Nothingness
When the process is doing nothing, I am not down for it. When the process is to be patient, I am itching to take action. When the process is being quiet, I want to scream. When the process is rest, I become restless. I don’t want to sit and do […]
Personal Evolution
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Suffering
I am questioning the ability to be unburnt. Unstressed. Unworried. Is such a thing possible when you think as much as I do? Care as much as I do? Worry as much as I do? It is far less than it ever has been but it’s fuel to the fire […]
Personal Evolution
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Powerful
Percolating.Maybe it’s not about getting it out but rather weaving it in. Maybe this is not the anger you purge but rather learn to withstand. Controlling it down into a low, hot burn that does not consume. I enter spaces in me never before known but they feel so familiar. […]
Parenting , Personal Evolution
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Transitions 2
I can feel all the emotions bubbling in my body. Stomach cramps and irritability due to overstimulation. Makes me want to move fast but what I know I need to do is slow down. Yesterday I felt like I was going to vomit and cry all at the same time. […]
Personal Evolution
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Burning
I am anxious and overwhelmed by everything right now which is making me highly irritable and easily annoyed.I feel like I can’t handle being pushed even another inch. How much of this is memory activated and how much is my true current state of being?My insides hurt and I think […]
Parenting , Personal Evolution
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Blowing It
I have moments where I worry about the negative impact I am having on my kid.I blow my lid sometimes. I am working on it and am much better than I used to be but then she pushes just a little bit harder. (Loud SCREAM that leaves my throat sore) […]
Personal Evolution
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Showing Up
I don’t know if there is anything more defeating than realizing you are not the mother you always imagined that you would be.I think the older you are when you are first initiated into motherhood the more crushing this reality becomes. Maybe because you had more time to really solidify […]
Personal Evolution
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Jellyfish Sequel
In order to fully understand and appreciate the words in this piece you will need to have first read the original jellyfish story in one of my earlier posts which you can find HERE. If you are uninterested and wish to read on without any back story then let me […]
Personal Evolution
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Recovery
It has been one year since I was out on stress leave and almost one year since I launched my blog. As I reflect on what has unfolded in the last 12 months I find myself in deep gratitude and awe. If I had told myself a year ago that […]