Holidays

For many this time of year is filled with the hustle and bustle of prepping for the holidays. Putting up decorations, buying presents, attending holiday parties and school concerts, baking, wrapping, eating and repeating. All of which is done in addition to the regular grind of whatever one might be doing with their day to day life.
For many, this time of year can be colored a very different shade than red and green. Creating uncomfortable feelings that don’t align with the cheery elf faces and sparkling eyed children. It can create internal conflict that is never spoken out loud but rather pushed to the side out of fear that it might bring dark clouds to the perceived holiday cheer.

Positive associations to holidays can create desperation to manifest expectations that are unrealistic in an attempt to temporarily escape a shitty reality. Or its a brutal reminder of whatever pain, trauma, or loss the family is currently living through. Increasing anxious tension between the desire for it to be good like past year’s and the emotional exhaustion it takes to pretend like you aren’t falling apart inside. Much of this is easily masked with the culturally accepted use of alcohol during this time, often in excess.

So here is my message to all. To everyone struggling and to those that are not but will be sharing the holidays with loved ones who are…

It is OKAY to NOT be Okay during the Holidays.

I encourage all to take the time to evaluate what expectations you are holding about the holidays both for yourself and others. Explore with curiosity the expectations that others may be having of you. Ask yourself, do these align with where I am at right now? Are these expectations fair or realistic? How much energy am I putting into meeting these expectations and do I even want to?

Allowing yourself the space and grace to be your authentic self through this season is what will bring the true Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards (Wo)Men. It is what will allow you the space to process through whatever real emotions this time of year is eliciting in you.
Good, hard or otherwise.
Allowing those around you to be their authentic self is the greatest form of love that you can show them. Being okay with them not being okay, if that is their truth, will help to genuinely bring in the deepest desires that come with the holidays. That being connection.

So remember my dear ones that it is OKAY to NOT be Okay during the holidays.

Blessings to all who are missing loved ones who have passed and to those who have not yet felt that heartache. Blessings to those who are in hospitals, jails, or prisons and to their loved ones who do not get to touch or hold them. Blessings to those dealing with health issues and to those who are healthy and well. Blessings to those who are members of toxic family systems and to those who are safe and connected. Blessings to all and to all in whatever state you may find yourself in this day.

May you all be filled with loving kindness
May you all be well
May you all be peaceful and at ease
May you all be happy

Inshallah
Mitakuye Oyasin
Dios le bendiga
Amen.

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